Tuesday, July 2, 2019

A journey of Gratitude



It's been an interesting two years.

It hasn't been easy, but it's been very enlightening. Definitely not a journey I'd choose to repeat, nor wish on anyone else, but it left me with some valuable lessons. And I'm ever grateful for the experience.

In case there's any doubts, I'm talking about my journey with Voldy.

On June 29, 2017, my life was turned upside-down when a misdiagnosed staph infection turned rampant. A simple follow-up appointment, for what started as a bursitis flare, had me (unexpectedly) on the operating table...emergency surgery to "clean and flush" as much of the infectious matter as possible. Next, I camped out in a nice room at a beautiful hospital, for an entire week, as we waited for the 6-inch suture seam to stop draining and for my white blood cells to mellow out. Finally, when I was released, I went home with a PICC line, and had to administer in-home IV infusions (3X/day) for a few weeks. Fun times!

Incidentally, I named the 6-inch suture seam Voldemort. He's been a part of my life ever since.

This journey started out looking pretty bleak. With a huge suture seam, in a high-maintenance area (over the top of my right knee), I had to play it very cool...in other words, no excess physical activity. My leg had to stay nearly straight for the first couple of weeks to ensure the suture would seal properly. My surgeon forbid any running for at least two months, and limited walking at first. Oh, and I needed to keep the perspiration at a minimum because the risk of anything seeping into the healing wound would not be good. Did I mention this was (now) early July?

This was a devastating blow to a summer-loving gal who thrives on sweaty runs in the heat and humidity. Yes, there were a couple brief pity parties, but they were short-lived. I quickly realized feeling sorry for myself, and my unfortunate situation, was not gonna make things heal any faster. After all, I was pretty lucky the infection was caught. My surgeon told me it could have been much worse...dying skin, possible skin graft, no more running, ever.

Thus my journey of gratitude began....

Care to hear a few highlights and lessons learned?

Right away, I chose to focus on what I could do and not dwell on what was (temporarily) taken away. Although I was not allowed to run, I was encouraged to do upper-body work to maintain my fitness and endurance. There was all kinds of planking, push-ups, and arm/shoulder strength work in those first few weeks.

I developed an appreciation for the simple act of walking, which has become a daily habit. After those first few weeks, I was granted permission to walk (at my leisure). I deeply missed my early morning runs, but since those weren't possible, I decided to get outside and walk instead. Wow. I felt like a caged bird set free. I was able to get my early morning fitness fix and witness many sunrises (again). Fast-forward to now - I'm outside almost every morning...if it's not a running day, I'll be walking.

My legs developed all kinds of "non-running" muscles. Before all of this staph infection business went down, I had just completed Grandma's Marathon. I had a strong base of endurance I didn't wish to lose....so I started walking more, and faster. I walked in the early mornings, I'd walk with Max at lunchtime, and sometimes I'd walk with the hubby after work or in the evenings.

I started doing leg lifts as a way of coping through the 3-minute IV infusions. As mentioned, I had to continue IV infusions for several weeks following my release from the hospital, and I was told these infusions needed to last at least three minutes. I'd do two (slow) sets of 25 leg lifts on each leg, which turned out to be the perfect length of time (as well as a distraction from the boring task at hand). These leg lifts became a consistent routine for me, too...and I still do them to this day.

I had to shift my focus to the "big picture" and not get caught up in the "here & now." By mid-September, I was allowed to lace up the running shoes and proceed with caution. Having maintained my endurance (with all the walking, leg lifts, and upper-body work), it didn't take long to ease back into a conservative running regimen. Since I'd taken things easy, and followed my surgeon's instructions with care, my rally back was a success.

My biggest victory, though, came from the gratitude I'd experienced. I had a pretty major epiphany one morning, while out walking. I was struggling with the envy I'd been feeling towards all of my running friends. I would have gladly traded places with any of them for a chance to go for a hot, sweaty summer run. Then it occurred to me that there were probably many other sidelined runners (or athletes, in general), who weren't even able to walk pain-free...and they'd probably gladly trade places with ME. Can you say, "turning point?"

My rally back continued through 2018, rewarding me with some decent finish times at races. I can't help wondering if I was just so thankful for the pure joy of being able to run, that some of the speed (that had been MIA in recent years) kind of returned on its own?

I've always been a glass-half-full gal, but I certainly was tested throughout my recovery. Time and again, though, I have had other experiences and situations that have been tough to face. I'm convinced my renewed positive outlook has served me well.

Case in point, this past winter. Remember all those treadmill runs (like, 20 of them?).  As much as I detest the treadmill, it really was my only option for a huge chunk of the 2019 winter. I chose to take  control of the ugly situation (my treadmill is pretty nasty, just saying), and tried to make those runs a little less boring. Unbeknownst to me, I was doing speedwork disguised as "hurry up and get me off of this thing." My spring races confirmed that my time with Milly was well spent.

Anyways, those are just a few lessons learned from my setback. Little did I know, that setback would launch me forward to even better things...and not just as a runner. It's been two years of growth, gratitude and strength...and I have Voldy to thank for it.
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Have you ever had a major setback that caused you to take inventory? What's the longest you've ever been sidelined from running (or any activity you love)?

**Full details of my surgery, recovery and return to running are HERE.

I'm linking this with Kim and Zenaida for the Tuesday Topics Link-Up

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20 comments:

  1. I really admired your attitude throughout that whole ordeal. I know it couldn't have been easy, but you really maintained a great positive attitude while dealing with everything, especially the at home infusions.

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    1. Thanks so much, Kim ;-) Honestly, being positive seemed like my only option....I just knew if I focused on the negative side of everything that summer, it would have been an even greater uphill battle to recover.

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  2. Wow! What a scary thing to happen! You certainly made the best of this situation!!

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    1. It was scary, very scary. When the surgeon (whom I'd just met) informed me I wasn't going home and that he'd be seeing me (in the operating room) in a few hours....it was frickin' surreal LOL

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  3. I also admire your attitude, "to give up" doesn't exist in your vocabulary. I had a similar experience when I broke my right femur. Now we have to think positive and ... let's keep on running.

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    1. Exactly, we all need to think positive!! But, OMG, your femur? Holy ouch!!!!!

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  4. Most really bad things really do help us grow. I've had my share of niggles and outright pain, but I've been lucky, I've never really had to take an extended period of time off of running (now, not being able to run pain free, that was a different story at one point).

    It's always about how you look at it and you certainly embraced the positives and minimized the negatives.

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    1. Thank you, Judy! It was a crazy time LOL I have been reading my posts from two years ago, and I'm glad I had all those details documented. It was such an unbelievable thing to experience...

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  5. I am sure your positive attitude helped you heal so much faster. You really made quite the epic comeback!

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    1. Thanks, Deborah ;-) You were one of my biggest cheerleaders through it all ;-)

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  6. I love this post Kim! I also love your great attitude!! This is my favorite part "focus on what I could do and not dwell on what was (temporarily) taken away." It is easy to think negative and focus on what we cannot do instead of being happy with what we can do.

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    1. Thanks ;-) I was in so much shock and disbelief when all this went down...I felt like I HAD to be positive about everything. There's no way I'd have recovered the way I did if I'd been dwelling on what I'd lost instead of looking towards the rally back.

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  7. Still love that you called your scar Voldy. It's so fitting.

    I'm actually currently in the midst of what you experienced when coming back to running- one of the things my coach and I have talked a lot about is "play the long game." He always says "where do you want to be in a year?" that has really helped me take my return to running conservatively. I still get upset sometimes when I feel that I've lost some speed or endurance, but just maintaining a positive attitude like you said and focusing on what I can do and not what I can't is helping!

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    1. Good for you!!! I had to DNS a couple of important races that summer, but I also had a few in the fall to look forward to...but those fall races wouldn't have happened had I not taken things slowly and respected the recovery. I hope things are going well for you!

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  8. What a great attitude. I wasn't reading you then, but read the linked one when you shared this last year. You & Jessie's recoveries were amazing to read, hers in real time.
    It's too easy to take what we have for granted.
    The no perspiration thing - wow. Did doc expect you to live in a central air bubble?

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    1. Thanks, Cari ;-) I think all of us are guilty of taking things for granted (myself included). This experience really opened my eyes to a lot of things. And the perspiration LOL That was an interesting challenge all on its own, but since that was in the early days of recovery, I wasn't walking much (yet) outside.

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  9. I was even thinking of how you slept in peak summer without sweating. That was probably inspired by a sleepless night last night.

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    1. I totally forgot to mention my sleeping...I slept on the couch, with my leg propped up on the arm rest or with my foot propped/angled on the back rest. With all the compression dressings, it was just easier than trying to fit everything under the sheets LOL

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    2. Not that it was remotely funny, but that image made me giggle

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  10. This is brilliant and so inspiring. When I had surgery on an ovarian cyst which turned into more complex surgery than I was expecting on endometriosis and adhesions, I was laid up for a while and swore never to take running for granted again. And I have kept to that and always try to feel grateful - and to enjoy running for what it is, not for what people expect of one.

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